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Alvin Flames

by Alvin Flames

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1.
Take a breath for a second, God I'm feeling lightheaded In this moment I've got double vision I'm huffing in nothing but sick superstition Got ghosts inside me free loading This trouble isn't subtle it's laying siege on me 'till I let my walls crumble It's more work than it's worth not to fall apart Like you're made of dead rot and rubble Maybe I've got nothing good to say Maybe I ain't so profound I can't control the way my body shakes When there's no way to calm down I can't handle All the ways that time deceives me I'll just lay here I'll wait to reset, wait to reset There's no evil In the motives that I cling to And yet I feel so regretful I want to change that, want to change that In my chest I feel pressure yet deflated Oh how do I measure the weight of indecision And what ways do I shake the mistakes Causing this shame that I cannot live in In the nights I often find myself picking fights With opponents that I should not challenge But what fun can be had when the love is held back to protect myself from the sadness? Maybe I just need air To quench thirst and take care, think slower But that train of thought feeds off the sickness Wakes me in the morning Holds me to the illness I give in to Moving tracks and rearview mirrors Exit ramps but I don't want to Walk alone, I can't walk alone it's Far too simple My solutions cause more damage I can't trust this Poor intuition Indecision
2.
Prince 04:15
I think I love the curse that drives me this insane Call me Alvin Flames I confess to living life like I'm your pet And I know you don't believe that a dog like me is tame Prince is my new name I can save you from anyone that could ever try and hurt you I found salvation in a pond that told me all about you I had no home and still you loved me all the same I hide my secret in the shadow of a nightly curfew A golden dog who goes by Prince or Alvin Flames I heard your world is green, my heart is the same shade Fen Tian gave me fame Now I seem to give the world something to believe in Hold down the poor reviews, a critic is a pain I came here to say Love is just a leash we hold when we get closer I found salvation in a pond that told me all about you I had no home and still you loved me all the same I hide my secret in the shadow of a nightly curfew A golden dog who goes by Prince or Alvin Flames
3.
Trying 04:27
Not feeling myself, not feeling at home I can't keep all these thoughts outside of dome And I laugh it all off, could it possibly hurt? Or can't you see it in my smile and hear it in my words? I'm trying to love something Nothing really needs any love from me All I need is a place where I can run 'Cus I can't run I'm trying to care about something Nothing really needs any care from me All I need is a place where I can sleep 'Cus I can't sleep Not feeling too much, not feeling at all I'm too numb to feel good so I won't feel the fall And it's easy to think I know what I've got But not until I'm dead will I know what I want Don't give a fuck about nothin' Nothin' ever gave a good fuck about me All I need is a place where I can hide 'Cus I can't hide And all I care about is money Money couldn't care any less about me All I need is a place where I can be 'Cus I can't be
4.
Bonfire Song 03:01
Bundle of wood, get three I wanna feel heat burnin' my knees Smell like smoke all day Wash your coat, it won't go away And I don't mind, that's why I got a fire outside every night Holding my mug Watch it go up Lately I've been cold Breath in smoke, I know Bad for the lungs, worse for my soul Hold her hand, I'm warm The fire is dim, I need more Keeping it hot, my job There ain't no point and there ain't no logs It's getting dark Smoke in my heart Lately... Lately... Insides on fire Eyes are so tired Lately I've been Holding her hand Real warmth at last Lately I've been cold
5.
I met a man, he was best friends with a ball He was trapped and all alone but somehow he's made it home So let's party like it's Tom Hanks' birthday I wish I was friends with him I met a man and he wore a cowboy hat And his best friend is from space, in his boot there lives a snake Can't I live forever like I'm Woody? Maybe then I'd have no fear Tom Hanks won't you save me with distraction? Tom Hanks help me disappear I met a man and he wasn't very smart But his heart was big and kind, and he ran so far and wide Can't I live so plainly like I'm forest? Can't I think the way he does? I met a man and he wanted to be big So he saw a fortune teller and he magically got older Like a child in a grown man's body I feel like I'm out of place Like the man named Tom who is my savior Makes me feel like I'm okay Invite me to his birthday It's Tom Hanks' party 'Cus he's the one who I love so much Invite me to this evening It is so special Invite me there, 'cus I want to have fun It's nine July He was born a gift to us Makes me feel special Makes me feel good He fills up my soul My heart is here for him because he's the best Tom of all And it's his birthday, let's throw a party just for him
6.
He fell going for a new trick Now he's embarrassed So are his parents Throw out your skateboard And he's scared of scraping his knee cap Picking the scab It's making him bleed Man, why can't he see that? Well he don't know how to behave Maybe that's why he acts dumb Part of him wants to be safe Part of him loves the pavement New crowd, trying to fit in with them Forgetting his friends He's paying for cigs That he isn't smoking Lonesome, thinking that he's better off Hiding his face And changing his name He won't be the same as everyone else He never lands any tricks Falling is what makes him feel there Pickin' his arms and his legs Laying on blacktop
7.
8.
Totem Talk 04:45
Wash my boots, get clay in the drain Drunk space cowboy asleep in the rain I'm done stealing light to show that I'm having fun I wish time was irrelevant, I wouldn't chase the sun Sit on the floor and think I'm the shit Sad conversation and a poor mindset Got a jacket on my chest goes well with the drink in my hand Yeah, I'm dreaming 'bout this life that I know I can't have And I'm cashed out Totem talk feeling so dumb and wishing like hell I don't have a thing to prove These nights got me all fucked up I'm doomed, I'm doomed Upset stomach and neglect my lunch Wanna chill out but the pedal is stuck A rotten endeavor, it's so damn hard to feel good I'd take back all that I've done, if only I could An off switch hidden in a circular glass A new train of thought buried in the grass Ain't one or the other, no fork in an endless road Yeah, we laugh at each other and we say nice things for show But we know that it keeps us... Worn down Totem talk eating my guts and spittin' them out Washing off bloody hands Yeah, I wanna be clean but I can't No I can't, No I can't
9.
All Wrong 03:09
I just wanna go swimming in the lake But I need a friend to keep me safe I travel north, get lost on my beat ass bike The warm air on my cold heart keeps me right And I don't keep track anymore It's not worth all that pain Looking at yourself too long Looking through your eyes all wrong I been thinking too much these days It don't really do much anyway Does it even matter? Fuck no I'm so sick of all the bullshit I think that you know me too well Even more than I know myself Maybe you can give me advice What to do with... And I don't keep track anymore It's not worth all that pain Looking at yourself too long Looking through your eyes all wrong And I don't keep track anymore It's not worth all that pain Looking at yourself too long Looking through your eyes all wrong

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released December 18, 2020

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Alvin Flames Chicago, Illinois

Alvin Flames makes music in his bedroom. Thank you for your ears.

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